Not only does Mila Kunis look pretty decent in a bikini; she can also pratfall and convincingly call Jason Segel a pussy on-screen. Here she proves that the most talented straight man in Hollywood also happens to be the sexiest woman alive
Mila Kunis is eyeing the plate of cookies that's been placed on our table. "If we're sure there's no tomorrow," she says, "I'll go to town on these." We're having dinner on Manhattan's Upper East Side on a drizzly evening in late May, and according to some, the apocalypse is mere hours away. But before then, Kunis wants some clarity. "Are we dying on East Coast time or West Coast time? It's tomorrow somewhere in the world. Can we check if those people are dead already?" She giggles. "This is why I was put on earth, to ask these questions."
That's not the only reason. We need an actress like her. One who looks like a Disney cartoon with a dirty mind, who doesn't have that desperate theater-brat need to charm or wow, who doesn't try to be breezy or sexy but instead is able to just be—on-screen and off . She's clearly as comfortable arguing about the hierarchy of Star Trek spin-offs as she is mind-fucking Natalie Portman in Black Swan. She eats with her hands. She bear-hugs a little girl who asks for her picture during dinner. It's this utter lack of pretense that lets you convince yourself she'd be okay with being asked out.
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GQ: Your new movie is called Friends with Benefits. Ever been in one of those relationships?
Mila Kunis: Oy. I haven't, but I can give you my stance on it: It's like communism—good in theory, in execution it fails. Friends of mine have done it, and it never ends well. Why do people put themselves through that torture?
GQ: It's because they enjoy sex.
Mila Kunis: But friends with benefits isn't a purely sexual relationship—it's two people who like each other having sex, not a random hookup. And when two people who like each other have sex, eventually someone catches feelings and everything is fucked. You might be able to treat our relationship as killing time. I might not. I may be in love with you.
GQ: Mila, it's just not going to work.
Mila Kunis: But I feel like I'm in love with you, okay? I love you.
GQ: So I went back and watched some of your earliest movies, and—
Mila Kunis: Oh Lord! I'm so sorry, buddy. How can I make it up to you?
GQ: By telling me what it was like to act with William Shatner [in American Psycho 2] and Hulk Hogan [in Santa with Muscles].
Mila Kunis: Jesus. You did not watch Santa with Muscles.
GQ: Fine. I watched the trailer on YouTube.
Mila Kunis: I was too young to fully understand the importance of working with Hulk Hogan. I just thought he was this huge man. Shatner was di fferent. I'm a massive Trekkie, so that was crazy. He's exactly what you think he is.
GQ: When did you get into Star Trek?
Mila Kunis: I got into it in my late teens—18, 19, 20. Something like that. I got into it later than most people. But let's not talk about it in the past tense. I'm still a Star Trek fan. You never stop being one. Let me give you my rundown of the series in order of most favorite to least favorite.
GQ: I definitely have my answer to this. Let's hear it.
Mila Kunis: Okay. You should know this list is an ongoing argument between Seth MacFarlane and myself. But I have it: The Next Generation; the original series; then Voyager—
GQ: Okay, you're already wrong.
Mila Kunis: Fuck. You and I are in trouble already. This always happens with Star Trek fans. After Voyager, then I have Deep Space Nine. Then last is Enterprise.
GQ: Did your Star Trek fandom extend further than just watching the show?
Mila Kunis: Uh, I went a little bit further.
GQ: How so?
Mila Kunis: I went to the Star Trek Experience in Vegas maybe five years ago. I hung out with a bunch of fake characters inside Quark's bar. [Ed note: Quark was the name of the Ferengi bartender on DS9.] There were all these actors there pretending to be the different characters from the different shows. Yes, I loved it.
GQ: Please tell me you didn't go by yourself.
Mila Kunis: No! I went with friends. I'm not that big of a loser. But I also have a signed Leonard Nimoy photo in a little frame that a girlfriend gave to me for my 21st birthday. And I've got a bunch of vintage Star Trek figurines given to me by Jason Segel. God, it's so embarrassing.
GQ: Who's the funniest person you know?
Mila Kunis: My father. He has such a dry sense of humor. He'd say something funny and then be like, "Kiddo, now's the part where you laugh."
GQ: What about someone you're not related to?
Mila Kunis: Lucille Ball is perfection—her timing and her commitment. Sarah Silverman is raunchy and brilliant, and people call her out for saying fucked-up stuff that they wouldn't have a problem with a man saying. How dare she? Who else? Tina Fey. She's a genius. I actually just finished reading Bossypants.
GQ: That was good, I thought.
Mila Kunis: No! Not good, brilliant. I love Tina Fey. So funny, but never shticky. She's not tripping over shit.
GQ: She's so clearly attractive and successful that I can't buy her self-deprecating stuff anymore.
Mila Kunis: I see your point. You want the attention to go to the joke itself rather than be distracted by who's delivering it. But look at Bridesmaids. That movie's full of beautiful women who are hysterical. I'm so proud of those ladies. You have no idea how hard it is for a woman in this business. A lot of people don't even think women are funny. It's fucked-up, but you have to deal with guys like that. I've learned to roll with it.
GQ: Do you have a personal experience of men in Hollywood not finding women funny?
Mila Kunis: I don't personally know of anybody, no. I could give you some bullshit excuse why I don't, but I just don't. The bottom line is if you're an attractive female in this industry, people just take you as that: attractive. People aren't getting the opportunity to move beyond being attractive. It's not only with comedy. It could be with drama or action or whatever. People are distracted by looks. It happens. I'm not saying it happened to me, but it happens.
GQ: I imagine working with people like Seth MacFarlane and Jason Segel ends up involving a lot of dick jokes.
Mila Kunis: Put me at a table with five guys making dick jokes and I will be right there with them. And, uh, I'm on Family Guy. I've been on that show for so long that I don't get grossed out by anything. But I've never had an experience where it's been a bunch of dudes making dick jokes and I was like, "Oh, there go the boys. I'm going to go get a pedicure and be back in an hour."
GQ: Is it harder to be funny when you're naked?
Mila Kunis: It's hard to be funny in general. I think I have a good sense of humor, but I'm not, like, a joke-teller. I get the jokes, which is sometimes half the battle. Believe me, I have no idea why anyone hires me....
GQ: For one, there's never a sense in your performances that you're worried about looking ridiculous.
Mila Kunis: Because I'm not. Image is not a priority for me. I have to think about how I'm going to word this.... A lot of times, people go into this industry with a grandiose idea of fame and think the only way to achieve that is to please everybody. Unfortunately, that can lead to very self-conscious on-screen choices. This industry scrutinizes you. It'll tear you apart.
GQ: Are you single?
Mila Kunis: I am. I wouldn't dare wish myself upon anybody at this point in my life! My shooting schedule is crazy. I'm a nomad till January.
GQ: You know, I'm single too...
Mila Kunis: Oh, my God! That's an amazing face you just made!
GQ: It's my puppy-dog face.
Mila Kunis: It's fantastic! Well, hey, you never know.
GQ: Seriously?
Mila Kunis: Aww, no. I was joking....
STORY BY BY DAVID MARCHESE / PHOTOGRAPHS BY TERRY RICHARDSON FOR (GQ MAGAZINE)
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